why

When I was confronted with Parkinson's Disease, I didn't ask, "Why me?" I had sailed through 52 years of life with astonishing good health, and, frankly, I realized I was overdue for some suffering. However, I have frequently wondered, "Why PD?" I tend to be melancholy, and depression is a well-know feature of the disease. I tend avoid challenges, and PD gives me a justified excuse. Just why God would want to deal this particular variety of adversity to someone who needs so much encouragement to be cheerful and willing, I can't say. But something else I share with countless others is the wish to be in control. What better training in giving up control than tremors? Or a disease that progresses idiosyncratically, made-to-order, individual, unpredictable. The Azilect has not yet helped any of my symptoms. Will I call Dr. B. for Sinemet with it's well known side-effects but amazing efficacy? Or will I embrace my disability with the assurance that where my control ends, God's begins? Stay tuned...